Surrendering Your Will

You are not better than those you are called to serve."

I had a dream I had embarked on a great project that for a while saw great success.  All of the sudden those thing that had been built began to crumble and I and those whom I thought deserved to be with me in ministry began to run for our lives as the structure fell. 

In my dismay I began to ask god why. And, on a wall in a small area surrounded by what looked to be an ornately decorated picture frame, a message came.  It said something to this affect; “We are not greater than those whom we are called to serve”.  In this dream, my efforts crumbled because of my attitude towards those I attempted to avoid.  

It was not that I started out with this attitude in ministering but it was the result of years of striving with folks who I allowed to abuse my kindness, my gentleness and my good intentions.  Notice the word “my”?  My efforts in ministry came from a zeal to do all, be all and care for all, something I now know was God’s acceptable will but not his perfect will for my life.  I looked forward to a new assignment nursing the open, unattended wounds from past efforts in ministry.

What was the point?  This is what I understood from these things.  The people we serve in ministry may indeed hurt us.  Those whom we give our lives and heart to may leave us and we may not see the intended or expected results of ministry, but minister we must.  Even if our time is concluded with those whom God has assigned to us our attitude towards those slated for our future must not be jaded by past experiences.  God may be preparing us for our next assignment, but we must not feel we can pick and choose who we are to minister to.  Our attitude must be that of Jesus who forgave and gave himself in ministry.  After all, are we not ministers of Jesus Christ?  Are we not sent to the nations? 

I rose knowing this message was definitely for me.  As I believe my assignment is changing and that I am not responsible for how I am treated or regarded, but how I treat and regard those to whom I am sent. My attitude, hurt, expectations and ambitions in ministry must be laid before the feet of Christ.  I must be willing to wash the feet of Kings and peasants.  I must be willing to give the best of my gifting to all whom are hungry or are in need even if they resemble that which brought me pain in my past. Jesus died for all we should die to all.

I believe I came to this vision as I began to review churches in need of pastors that had beautiful sanctuaries but troubled, tradition fixed people.  My perousal of social media turned up information on individuals and groups associated with these ministries that I found to be dubious. Consequently, I did not approve of such individuals and decided that I did not want to serve them.  Just because there is an opening does not mean it's desireable.

On that note, this is the reason many churches go without God sent pastors.  They assign teams who are fresh with the failures of past leaders or they are fixed on choosing someone that will follow rather than lead.  Unwilling to trust God in the selection of the successor, they are left to secular institutions with requirements and measurements that don't require prayer, fasting or meet with biblical standards.  Good and faithful candidates are overlooked in the selection process because of past denominational affiliation, scholastic achievements or lack thereof.  Since when did seminary degrees trump Christian experience or God given wisdom?  Delay may also come because some ministries have property or people who have coveted positions that they deem must be protected.  Many nondenominational and community based ministries, who profess freedom from tradition, have  committee members that bring traditional baggage with them.  Jaded, hurt and unyielding idealism often cripples the prospective church from receiving a faithful pastor. 

I had an experience with a church who I believe wanted a figure head and not a pastor. I had trouble with one point on their belief statement and suggested an alternative thought.  Our only correspondence was through email and with only one individual on the board.  I never had the opportunity to address the point or the board as a whole.  The decision to take a second look at my candidacy ended with the thought that I disagreed with the church.  It is sad when one or two individuals make themselves “the church” or use themselves as the measure by which all men are to subscribe.  Even at the time of this writing, almost two years, the church is without a pastor, not good.  And, from what I can see, the former pastor is moving and doing quite well.

I digress, the dream helped me to realize that ministry is not about our convenience or our ability to tolerate what we call common.  It’s not about trying to avoid future pain or steer our ship away from that familiar island.  Ministry is about serving, and lifting, and comforting and feeding and teaching and directing but most of all helping people have a relationship with Jesus Christ who paid for all our sins and provided for all our needs.  We are called to reveal God’s purpose and plan for our salvation through Jesus Christ without prejudice or reservation.

We are in ministry, not by ourselves, but with people who are equally talented, gifted and called by His Spirit.  We never have to worry about doing it all, as leaders and pastors we must learn to empower and release others to help us in ministry.  God always provides resources that think faster than us, have specific compassions that will fill in the gaps of our limitations.  Did He not give the church gifts of ministry for the perfecting of believers?  And, those gifts included administrations and helps.  This means that the preacher should preach and the teacher should teach and the prophet should encourage and the administrator should manage and the scribe should write and the evangelist should reach out and the disciple should make more disciples.

As I rose, this was the pilot scripture that came to me;

Isaiah 61:1 and Luke 4:18 ¹⁸ The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the POOR; he hath sent me to heal the BROKEN HEARTED, to preach DELIVERANCE to the CAPTIVES, and RECOVERING of SIGHT to the BLIND, to set at LIBERTY them that are BRUISED,¹⁹ To PREACH the ACCEPTABLE YEAR OF THE LORD (to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor AMP).   

If you have been in His service for any amount of time you will come to places in life where you even question why you are submitting yourself to certain pressures.  You may think from time to time that what you believe or what you were called to do was simply your imagination, surely things should work out better than they have.  You may have been on a Jesus rocket to success.  And, now with so many depending on you, you forget that you are human and subject to human frailty.  Some have quit, some take drugs to preach, and some get blasted to stand behind the sacred desk.  Some yield to pleasures to cope with pain.  They reach for “the haves” and reject the “have-nots” in order to insure the coffers are full.  If I missed your category, trust me, you know who you are!  

Forget about your desires and take His desires.  Release your vision and take on his.  If you trust in the Lord and his provision and vision for your life; If you lean not to what you understand about who you are and allow Him to shape you into what He knows you to be; If you take his desires he will give you the desire of and for your heart.  Now, you can breathe and take on the task in front of you.  Now, you can rest in his provision and sleep soundly knowing you have done His will and not your own. 

In the end you will be glorified, why, the scriptures teach His will is to glorify you, which in turn, glorifies Himself.  As men see your good works, they see Christ and glorify your father which is in heaven.  “GET IT”.  IT REALLY IS NOT ABOUT YOU.  Screw that in that hard head and it will soften your heart and shield you from the disappointments this world will often bring.  Since the world hated him, it hates you.  Ministry is not always a feel good proposition, but if approached correctly, it can be the most fulfilling assignment of your life.

I recall in the distance I heard this song: “Let them see you in me, let them hear you when I speak".

Take away the melodies
take away the songs I sing
take away all the lights
and all the songs you let me write
does the man I am today
say the words you need to say.
Let them see you, in me
let them hear you, when I speak
let them feel you, when I sing
let them see you,
let them see you, in me.
Who am I without your grace
another smile, another face
another breathe, a grain of sand
passing quickly through your hand
Id give my life, I'm not afraid
take it all, take everything
Let them see you, in me
let them hear you, when I speak
let them feel you, when I sing
let them see you,
let them see you, In me
with every breathe I breathe
I sing a simple melody
but I pray they'll hear more than a song,
In me, in me                                                                              By JJ Weeks Band

Yield all that you are to Christ.  Return your gifts, talents and anointing’s to Him. His desire becomes our desire and our desire becomes His promise; “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”. Psalms 37:4

Think about it! LAFSR

Appreciate Living

Appreciate Living:

On this August 20, 2013, I find myself waking from an interesting series of dreams.  A young man, in my 50’s, I find myself reflecting on the pendulum that is life.  It seems my thoughts are in review mode.  I think, these days, of the “what if’s” that I believe most of us have once we have lived a little while.  What about Jennifer Thomas, the light skinned, long hair, pimple face Caribbean girl I knew in high school.  We tried to develop a relationship but our faiths and naivety got in the way.  She was Jehovah ’s Witness and I was Christian.  I don’t think we cared but the people around us did.  And, before that relationship could sprout there would be friends and family members to spray their brand of weed killer on it.  Why, I don’t know something about “unequally yoked”.  There was my friend Glenn, but can’t remember his last name.  He was short and brown skinned and the most ornery person you never want to meet.  His bold and brash behavior, I suppose, made up for his size.  He was one of the best hand ball players I ever met.  He was my best buddy and we would never part.  I have not seen him since 1978.  I had another best friend, I’ll call him Tommy, that’s not his name but, eh.  Tommy was the guy everyone wanted to be.  He had a full afro and hazel eyes.  He wasn’t a high school mate, just a guy around the way.  All the ladies seem to want to get next to Tommy.  You could see the afro sheen run down his face after a game of hand ball, basketball, stoop ball the list goes on and on.  Tommy was just cool.  He was going to be great.  He was the guy who you never broke from because he could bring it too you!  It was whatever was cool at the time.  I have no idea where Tommy is, have not seen him since busing became the rule in the 70’s. 

There is so much I seem to be able to recall.  Recently, while trekking through YouTube, just checking on some video’s I posted, I saw an old album that I did while trying to be a gospel recording artist.  “Bishop Dingle and the voices of Pentecost”, wow, I didn’t think that a copy of that album existed.  I wrote and sang a bunch of those songs.  It was a time full of fun and joy.  The album made the local circuit and we were played along with the Institutional Radio Choir, Timothy Wright and Carnell Johnson and the Gospel something or others.  It is amazing, what lingers in the recesses of our minds.

I imagine the clicking of keys, as I once did, of a royal typewriter and disclose all of my thoughts and musings on paper; I promise you they are not boring.  I find myself appreciating life more than ever these days.  And, I just want to convey to someone that may be complaining about living that there is certainly an alternative to your reality.

Occasionally the “what if’s” show their head and cause us to wonder where we would be if we had just made other decisions.   What I had different parents?  What if I was not poor? What would it be to be rich or if I’m black to be white?  If I had been adopted, would my life be better?  Some people go as far as to believe that if they were a different gender they might have been happier or a different social class they may have been more philanthropic.  In all of our wondering, I wonder if people really take time to appreciate the road they have traveled.

There was a book by Scott Peck, “The road less traveled”, his melding love, science, and religion into a primer on personal growth built him a successful career lecturing to those who wandering in thought.   I could spend time comparing Robert Frost’s “The road not taken”, poetic look at decisions and how they bring about faded memories and wonder regarding past choices.  These emblements of literature find me lost in their words from time to time, but ever so mindful that life, if properly appreciated, is a blessing.

While I understand that I am in the world, I cannot speak for all in the world.  Today as I speak,  Egyptians across the globe are engaged in civil unrest causing death.  Religious factions in the Middle East in charge of government prepare for holy wars against America and Israel and all such sympathizers.  Christians are being slaughtered as political sheep in conflict that really don’t involve them.  Somewhere children go hungry, live with scurvy and sleep in rat and roach infested hovels, not just overseas but right here in America.  Yes, in our country, there are those that would deny a child healthcare while they are able to see the best doctors, consistently.  Some sport big smiles because they can afford regular visits the dentist, who normally charges ungodly rates just to fill a cavity with deadly mercury.  There are still the homeless and the indigent.  There are the dysfunctional families and the discouraged father out of work.  Many of the educated, their living a reward for their years spent in academia, who look down upon the low wage worker with disdain.  That worker, by the way, may also have been educated but she cannot find work in her field.   Her work day starts with, “Hello, would you like to try today’s happy meal”? 

There is so much about living this life that can be complained about, but why?  I have found that the lemonade, to borrow a phrase, we make out of life’s lemons is far sweeter.  Sure there are struggles in life but most of the time they come from striving and not being content.  Take a moment to enjoy the moment.  Have you ever looked at autumn leaves from a position of rest.  Instead of raking a pile on a windy autumn day, watch them dance in the wind.  See them swirly like a ballerina on a whirring jewelry box.  Take a grand view of an oak as the leaves turn their color or a pecan tree as it throws its fruit to a ready ground.  Can you hear the gradual tapping of the nuts?  Can you see the squirrels happily collecting their bounty?  Look how God provides food and entertainment for those willing to stop and appreciate the wonder that is life. Living is all around us, waiting to be experienced.

Try heading to the beach or a brook that sounds as if it’s babbling.  It doesn’t cost much to be hypnotized by the washing of waves on the shore or to listen to the chorus of birds flying in migration.  Life is full of cycles that when missed happily return almost 365 days at a time.  And, as long as we stop to appreciate the things that are not in our control, such as, nature, art in the making, children at play and the rhythm of things that seem inanimate, we will find that there is much more to this thing we call living than meets the eye.

I am a man of faith.  I believe in Christ’s return for the believer and I believe in the ultimate justice against the wicked.  I also believe that there will come a time that suffering will cease and poverty will be no more.  I believe that those of us of diverse spiritual persuasions will know the one true God.  I believe that God has many that are not of this fold.  I believe that His objective in this world is not punishment but restoration.  I believe that all those who simply look for a vengeful God, coming to inflict harm and pain, don’t really know God.  I appreciate the relationship I have with family and with my deity.  I have a peace that passes my ability to understand.  My steps have not always been clear but they were known and not by me, but by him who knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb.

 

If you are reading this writing and if you can hear my voice, there is hope if you are struggling.  And, I believe that hope is in Christ.  I also believe that you, if you really look, can see and appreciate that you have had the opportunity to live.  You can change your reality by simply changing how you see life.  If life is a bore and a drudge, nothing you see will lift you or provide you with pleasure.  If you see life as potential, then you will seek the things that lift you and give you peace.  If you must strive, press to be happy.  Press to have joy and to experience all that is around you.  Take pleasure in the things that cost a little time or nothing but your attention.  They are the things that God has given, free of charge, for our pleasure.  Learn to appreciate the small things.  Be still and listen to the rhythms of nature around you.  Appreciate the diversity in people and their complexities.  If you allow yourself to be free in traveling that road call life, it really won’t matter which fork you take, as long as you take it with the confidence that your life has meaning and you allow the God of the universe to lead you to purpose. 

There is an assurance in God’s provision when you see how nature is provided for.  If you have breath, you can have peace, love, Joy and all the fruit that the Spirit provides.  Do you remember the problems you had one, five, 15, 10 or even 20 years ago?  Chances are you can’t remember all that happened and I’m sure you have no desire too.  Time winds up the history of our live ever so consistently.  Whatever has been weaved, depending on the knots you have made, may eventually come loose.  Buildings and bridges crumble without maintenance, grass withers and flowers fade with seasons.  Even our lives will come to an abrupt halt, often without warning.  Don’t spend precious time worrying and fretting about what is not or lamenting about what was lost, rather appreciate Who you are, Where you are and When you are.  From this mindset you may come to appreciate life and living. 

 

Thanks a bunch for listening.

When Grace is Not Enough.

There seems to be a place in our hearts that long for relief. The rich are rich either because of inheritance, hard work or some season of fortune or tragedy that has entered their life. I look at the privileged in this world from a western perspective and think how so many are cursed with depression and dismay. Incredible though it seems, personal wealth is not always comforting.

I have not had what can be called "personal wealth". I have had times of poverty; times of plenty and some would say times of wonder (wonder how I’m a gonna pay my bills). I look at life as a whole one wonders how is it that the impoverished moan for relief and the wealthy seek fulfillment in the face of all we preach and teach.

I really don't know why I came to ponder these things. I supposed that in my life I have questioned where my share of the gold was. Gifting and talents do not always open the door to opportunity. In fact, the same often brings rise to jealousy and envy among peers. It is said that we make our own way. I'm not so sure. I have known many who had much to offer but no takers. And, I am confident that the wealthy of this world, at least those who do not know their fortune, do not understand the plight of the destitute.

It is no wonder Jesus reflects with dismay on the rich young ruler. So often we depend on our prosperity to hide us from the issues of life. I am also convinced that many of the ministries that pump the idea of “name it claim it” have missed the thoughts of the struggling. So often we hear the ministerial elite, those who through good fortune or eminent grace have risen to some place of notoriety, express in volumes of books and how to tapes, are the deriding of those who have not risen. And, even amongst them are the devious and the dishonest, who gain their wealth through deceit and trickery.

There is a place, I believe, when just plain old Grace, at least as it has been expressed by main stream ministries, is not enough. Now, I’m not about to cause a stir in the halls of Christendom. I'm simply saying that hope in hope and faith in faith is not the emissaries of results. One can be a sincere, hard working, God loving, devil hating Christian and still not have enough to enjoy basic life. Now, right here I feel a need to qualify my statement on Grace for those apologists who want to point me to a million scriptures that rebut my opinion. Well, I don't think I have articulated all that I have to say, so hang on there.

It is not, directly, the reciting of scriptures towards a goal that raises the hopes of the faithful. It is not the heart felt passion to “beat the devil running” that makes a believer reach for something better. I believe that this thing called Grace is more involved than we perceive. Ah, I think what I desire to communicate just came into being in my heart. While we speak of the Grace of God through Jesus Christ towards us in great appreciation, we neglect to understand the love expressed that brought it to bear. Simply put, "God Gave".

No one can deny that there are many who suffer, and of course there are many who would say, well the scripture sais "my people perish for a lack of knowledge"! No, knowledge may not be the missing element of the perishing, there is also the lack of Grace or love expressed. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to know how to do a thing but could never find one who would share without a price. I can't tell you the disappointment I carried when those who I thought covered me snatch the covers off with the excuse of helping me. I can' tell you the poverty I endured because of the fear of reprisal and disapproval of others.

Some accused me in my own family of pride and lack of communication during hardship but it was them who pushed me into believing that I had no place to lay my head when faced with personal failure. It was not their expectation but their condemnation I came to reject. I chose not to expose myself to their chiding or personal contempt. I was the preacher boy. Surely, I could not have a problem. I could not be independent and depend on their assistance without a chorus of disapprovals. When Jesus helped so many, he was met on Golgotha with “he helped others, why can’t he help himself”. Those who counted, drove me to be independent of thier comfort. From them I felt no protection as family.

Many people who should have been more in life allowed others to press them into cookie cutter bits of themselves. Possibly, these attempt to live thier lives through others. Now, that is not to deny the principles part in his or her outcome. Many have been given a boat but no oars. It is important to press the gifted and not so gifted person to become what it is that God had destined without taxation. Where are the fathers and mothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and friends and relatives and cousins and the like who believe in individualism, community and family. What happened to "be all you can be"? Do they not think that the best for you is to free you to be the best you.

My family was the branch whose mom did not go to college and way was hard. Our fathers were not faithful to their children. Our substance was always meager and without quantity. And, though there are some who would say “now come on Leon, you’ all did not do that bad” what they fail to remember was "I lived it!" It was my experience. There is no need to point to starving children in Africa, by the way that’s a continent not a country, to diminish my experience. I would never diminish another’s experience because of some perceived grade of pain. Pain is Pain, so don't dismiss what I have felt or experienced. Rather see the diminishing return on the individual and use this thing called Grace to reach out and apply a balm or salve to the wound.

I'm yet without some of the necessities of life. Much of my issue is based on my choice of service, I'm a Pastor! Just recently I found myself bumming a ride to the post office because my vehicle was out of service. And, in this town you need two! I have learned a few things and find myself blessed by Gods Grace with favor. Favor will get you what a Dollar Bill Can’t! I am mindful and desirous to do something substantive for the personally challenged. Those who know there is better, but cannot perceive it due to circumstance.

Grace or the preaching of the concept is not enough. There must be a concerted effort by those of us who have come through the pain of poverty and rejection, scarred but not mortally wounded, to help lift those who don't even know that they are in need of. The wealthy too need a hand of love not tied to their bounty, but without price. I've seen good young men scarred by their parent’s hatred and disappointment. Believing that they have become men because of their sexual prose or the size of their rims, they have become no more than horny animals skilled in mating and bravado. They have no clue what it is to be nurturing and supportive, but are satiated with the paid approval of the mindless.

I've seen young girls, who at one time, would be chaste in their dress but now wear spandex and pajamas in public. Hungry for attention, they strut as a peacock ready for mating. They are not only naked on the outside but are stripped of their dignity. Blood restricting clothing are now a fashion, but they scream "SEE ME", "I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO OFFER SO TAKE FROM ME WHAT IS PRIVATE".

The Grace I'm talking about reaches out to the masses and yells "Cover what is private until the day your physical beauty is to be uncovered for the love of your life and display the dignity of your mind". The Grace I'm talking about says "I know you don't know how, LET ME SHOW YOU, NO COST OR PRICE". The Grace I refer to is the kind that Christ often expressed through personal action. He heals, he feeds, he mends he give direction then he preaches.

It's all summed up with these words in the 13th chapter of John and the 35th verse, "by this shall all men know that you are my disciples, that you have LOVE for one another". That love was reiterated, in kind, through 1 Corinthians 13. Grace is not simply a message from God to man, but an example that should be expressed from God through us. What young man can we keep from prison? What young girl can we push through college without pregnancy? What dreams can we help a mother achieve for her child? What dignities can we help a father give to his family?

No, hammering people with Grace nuggets is not enough. Teaching them to recite and remember scriptures, though important, must be expressed through example. Those of us who have must learn to give. Those of us, who know, must learn to share. I get more joy by watching positive growth by those I'm privileged to mentor. Many I have shown this Grace are doing well. Very little return to say thanks. Some left in a huff, but are the better for the relationship. It matters some that my efforts toward people goes without expressed appreciation, but the reward I seek comes from him who allowed similar Graces to come to me. It's without cost, it's without price.

The Grace message is powerful but the "Grace message applied", through you, is the hand of God to those who sought his hand but will eventually seek his face.

Respectfully submitted,  

                

Selah.